What a decade... A truly transformative one for me!
My favourite part about reviewing and reflecting on the year and the decade behind me is thinking about my biggest challenges + lessons learned. Looking back, I’ve noticed how much has happened over a decade. How much I’ve changed, grew and evolved.
When I rewind to 2009/2010, I am met with a totally different version of myself.
In retrospective I can truly see how my hardships, struggles and challenges were blessings. How they have interwoven into a tapestry that shaped my own unique path.
Rewinding even further back in time, my absolute rock bottom, dark night of the soul, was around the years 2003 – 2004. It was one of the most painful times in my life: I was at my lowest point in my relationship with myself.
From waking up one day hating my body and deciding to go on my very first diet, to what became a full-blown eating disorder. In 2004 my weight dropped so much that my body started protesting - I was chronically constipated, my period stopped and I had pimples all over my forehead. I was literally malnourished.
Then came a period of binging, emotional eating and yo-yo dieting.
This period of a very disordered relationship with food, my body and myself, lasted for almost a decade. Change didn’t happen overnight, but rather a shift that happened over time, one which was ignited when I started devoting myself to the practice of yoga and meditation, tapping into my spiritual journey.
And as I wrap up the decade, I can say wholeheartedly that I have found true peace in my relationship with myself.
2010 began with one BIG decision, a decision that had a significant impact on how my path would unfold. A decision to follow my heart and move to the Netherlands after meeting the one who would later become my husband.
A decade of living abroad, away from family & friends, in an unfamiliar environment and culture, brought its own set of challenges. There were lots of ups & downs, hardships and struggles. All which made me stronger, more resilient and most importantly directed me to where I am today.
After 7 years in the Netherlands, a change in our circumstances brought us yet again to move to a different country. The day my husband told me he was offered a job in the UK I didn’t stop crying. I finally felt like I’ve settled and the thought of starting all over again freaked me out. Lo and behold, today I can say, truthfully, that it was such a blessing.
So this decade, more than ever, I have learned to TRUST my path. Trust the universe.
That even from the lowest moments, from the most challenging times, biggest struggles, massive changes, uncertainties and hardships there is an opportunity, an invitation to rise up and above.
When you are in the thick of it, it can feel impossible to see the ‘highest good’ and surrender to the struggle (rather than fighting and resisting it). To trust, that like clouds, like the weather, this too shall pass.
But YOU are a walking proof. I know, that if you take a moment now to reflect back, you will be able to come up with at least three examples of tough moments in your life that not only you have survived, but have transformed you / your life in the most positive ways. Making a mental note of these will help you strengthen your trust muscle.
So here are some of the truths I’m taking with me from the decade behind me. I hope they will offer you comfort and inspiration for the decade ahead of you --
Trust your failures, your challenges, your obstacles, your setbacks, your chaos... They do not define your path, they are part of your path.
Trust that you are being protected, that you are being guided.
Trust that greater things are aligning for you.
When you feel like everything is falling apart, trust that everything is coming together.
When you are facing big change, trust that you are led to get out of your comfort zone and evolve.
When you feel like everything is being taken away from you and you are no longer sure who you are, trust that you can take the broken pieces of yourself and create an even more whole version of you.
Trust that you are only met with challenges that you can overcome.
Trust that you are provided with the tools to get to the other side of things.
Trust that when doors close behind you, new doors open ahead of you.
Trust that things are not happening TO you but FOR you.
Trust that whatever struggle you are facing, you are stronger than it.
Trust that you can rise up and above.
Trust that if it's in your way it's your way.
Trust that there are no mistakes, because every mistake brings you closer to your truth.
Trust your ability to transmute painful experiences into purpose.
In those moments when it all feels like everything is going wrong, trust that life is preparing you for something bigger. Your path to your desires is not a linear one, sometimes you have to take a detour to fall back into alignment.
Trust that difficult periods are not a sign that something is wrong, they are all part of your path.
Trust in the way your life unfolds.
Let TRUST be your guide.
Lots of love,