Feeling like you can't have what you want?
When I finally decided I wanted to pursue a coaching career (after many inner debates between my intuition and my mind) I researched my options and realised how big the investment was, my jaw dropped. before I even got a chance to think about it I told myself “I can’t afford it”.
Deep inside I knew that I was saying it because I was terrified. I was terrified because once I’ve made the investment I had to follow through. I had to show up for my dream. After the initial reaction “I can’t afford it” I asked myself “When I’m saying I can’t afford it, what am I really saying no to?”
This is what came up -
I’m saying no to me.
I’m saying no to my dreams.
I’m saying no to my intuition.
I’m saying yes to my fears. The thing is, I didn’t have this amount of money in my bank account. When I looked at it cut and dry I couldn’t afford it. But I was so ready to say yes to ME and decided to see it as an opportunity to get resourceful. After looking at several options I decided to take a loan. It was one of the scariest and most empowering things I’ve done, because… I was saying yes to ME. I’ve since been really focused on shifting from my mind’s fear instinct to really trusting my intuition when it came to investing in myself. in my dreams, in personal development, in self care... and I’ve been encouraging my clients to do the same. Again and again I saw the same pattern - we come up with an idea and our mind comes up with a “rational” explanation to block that idea.
A couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to do something for myself, something new to fill up my cup (as it started to feel a bit empty). I decided to sign up for an astrology course. And the first thought that popped in my head? “I don’t have time for it”. So I’ve asked myself the same question I’ve been asking myself for some years now - What am I really saying no to? I was saying no to me… But my mind was persistent “between coaching, motherhood and other life responsibilities, where will I find the time for this?” I paused again and asked myself “Is it true? Is it really true that I don't have time for it?” It became clear to me that if I decide to make myself a priority, I can create time for it. I needed to put myself first and listen to my heart's cravings. I looked at my calendar and blocked out possible time slots for it. When it comes to investing time or money in ourselves (personal development, self care, etc.) it’s rare for us to easily see it happen, it’s unlikely that we have a set budget / time for these sorts of things, especially when we are new to these concepts. Not only is it our mind's strategy to quickly block an idea, we are conditioned to think that taking care of ourselves is selfish. If this is something that you struggle with, saying yes to things you want because of time or money, I’m sharing a tip on how to shift from scarcity mentality to abundance mindset in this video. After you’ve watched this video you can download this cheatsheet I’ve created for you on how to discern fear from realistic thinking (it would make sense after you’ve watched the video). Love, Naama