Look out of the corner of your eye 👁️
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about CLARITY, not only because it’s a big part of the work I do with clients but because it's very present in my life now.
In the last few months, I've been sitting with both heart-centred and practical questions around this new chapter I'm stepping into, trying to create clarity with all the unknowns about what I want motherhood and work to look like as I transition into becoming a mom of two (more about this in a different email).
So today, I want to wrap up this conversation around clarity (for now) with a beautiful quote by Robin Wall Kimmerer, botanist, professor and author, from her collection of essays Gathering Moss:
“A Cheyenne elder of my acquaintance once told me that the best way to find something is not to go looking for it. This is a hard concept for a scientist. But he said to watch out of the corner of your eye, open to possibility, and what you seek will be revealed. The revelation of suddenly seeing what I was blind to only moments before is a sublime experience for me. I can revisit those moments and still feel the surge of expansion.”
"watch out of the corner of your eye, open to possibility" – I think it sums it up.
The dictionary defines 'watch out of the corner of your eye' as 'without looking at something directly.'
On the journey to clarity, what often prevents us from seeing the answers that are right there, staring at us, is trying too hard, focusing on it too intensely.
When we try too hard to 'figure it out,' not only do we tend to overlook the obvious, but we often create even more confusion. The landscape in front of us becomes murky from overthinking and turning a dilemma in our minds over and over again.
The truth is, there’s a fine line between being intentional and proactive about seeking answers and creating clarity (instead of passively waiting for an epiphany to land on you) – and putting in so much effort that you're either forcing or pushing the answer away.
Sometimes, trying to grab onto something is exactly what makes it slip away. Like squeezing a bar of soap, the tighter you try to snatch it, the less likely you are to be able to hold on.
But if you loosen your grip, unfocus your eyes, broaden your gaze, and take a step back… a whole new world of options bursts open.
Which is why, especially when it comes to (big) career and life transitions, I never offer quick fixes. I don’t believe in them. Sure, I could ask my clients “If you could do anything, what would you do?”, list their skills and work experiences, and get on with it.
But the clients I work with aren’t seeking short term solutions. They want to create real change. They want to understand who they truly are and what would it look like to create a life and/or career that’s a reflection of that. And that, my friend, takes time.
By the end of our journey together, they always share how they appreciate the time they took to gently explore what they want, collect the breadcrumbs on their way and clarify what their vision looks like.
There's an answer in there for you if you'll just loosen up enough to let it in.
Today, I want to encourage you to look for softness in your effort, to explore what it might look like to loosen up your grip and to watch out of the corner of your eye, instead of hyperfocusing on something.
Get still and listen to the simple answer that's already waiting for you.
P.s. I think, in life in general, the most beautiful things don’t bloom by putting in an excessive amount of effort. This doesn't mean that we don't need to put in the work, meet our challenges and stretch our comfort zones, but it's a different kind of effort. One that's almost foreign to us in our daily lives, a kind of effort that grows and expands us. Just like when you overwater your plants, you drown them and they don't get enough oxygen to thrive, you too, need breathing space to flourish.